Do you know how easy it is to talk about others? Sometimes I get pleasure out of this. There is always a person at work or any congregation who likes to talk about others in a bad way. This person tends to attract people of the same. You always see them in a group during lunch or during the break. Sometimes you join them. They bring out the arrogant qualities in you; but when you see them and are not in their clique , you wonder if they are talking about you. This does not feel good.
Most people do not like to be evaluated because they already know their deficiencies and it hurts when it is confirmed; but we all like to evaluate or judge others and find their weakness. What is this quality in human beings that make us behave this way? Instead of finding their assets and good qualities, we tend to look for their flaws. Instead of looking within for our weakness, we tend to look for it in others.
We all want to feel good about ourselves. When we find fault with others, it makes us feel worthwhile. Could this be the reason? Arrogance is the reason behind our poor behavior. Do we want to feel superior to others at their expense? Is arrogance, a compensation for our own weakness as individuals?
In society, there is an hierarchy in any job, organization and even in religion. As we climb this ladder we must be more wary of becoming more arrogant. Because of our experience, we have more information and knowledge. We must use our experience to help others , instead of using it as a means to take advantage of others, or to influence others. Having knowledge and material wealth by themselves are not vices, but using them as a mode to debase others is. We become arrogant when this occurs. When we become arrogant, we cause suffering to those around us; but it also takes a toll on ourselves. It causes stress and suffering by eliciting the emotion of anger.
In summary, be aware of the evils (selfishness) in your minds, and see the good in others. When this occurs, the greed, arrogance, and self love in your minds will be more easy to remove.